Home
by terriku
Summary: Home is where someone is waiting for you.


1. (what we did not say)

It is not Naruto who asks her. No matter what has happened, he is still Naruto. Bright, boisterous and denser than stone Naruto. It is Sai, and it is in the gentle way he is two steps behind her for the entire day. It is in the way he brings her dinner, in the way he runs her errands, in the way he hovers ever present at her side.

Sakura knows what he wants to say. Sakura knows that he is worried. There are a thousand ways Sai can start the conversation, a thousand ways to berate her, a thousand ways to question her. That he does not is a testament to the respect he holds for her. It is not the same kind of respect, or bond really, that she shares with Naruto. Sai knows that Sakura is strong, and that is why he worries. Naruto knows the extent of Sakura's strength, and that is why he worries. Naruto makes promises. Sai listens. Sasuke does not listen, and he does not make promises. Sakura does not dwell on that comparison.

The days after the war go on in the same manner until they melt together. The Kages are embroiled in meetings and treaty discussions on the future. Naruto and Sasuke sometimes go, the future that the Kages debate over is their future after all. Sakura mans the medical side of things. The future for her, and for all the people she tends, is waking up the next day and still being alive. She hasn't thought at all about putting things back together. How can she when it is all she can do to put people back together?

They may have won, but it does not feel like victory. There are more casualties than injured, and there are so many injured that Sakura goes to bed everyday bone tired. Sai brings her tea, he brings her bandages when she is out of them, and he gets painkillers when she needs them. Sai procures everything from medicines to pens to tea, and Sakura remembers how useful his ninpou is. And when sometimes, she collapses into her chair with a sigh too deep to be from simple exhaustion, Sai does not ask. He sits down beside her and they stare into the distance together. Sai does not ask, so Sakura says 'thank you'.

Naruto and Sasuke do not share a medical tent. Sakura is grateful. For Naruto, there is no disconnect. He does not really remember, she thinks, that Sasuke had left for three years. For Naruto, there is no divide. He sees only the journey to bring Sasuke back, and here at the culmination of it, he feels only elated. Only happy, at last, to be reunited with his friend. It is not the same for Sakura. Naruto wants to go back to the old days of Team 7 before, well, before everything. Sakura cannot. She dreads it. Nothing scares her more than the prospect of Sasuke and Naruto lying on cots bickering in the same way they had bickered so long ago. It might be impossible, she thinks, for her to reconcile the Saskue-kun of her youth and the man he has become. At the heart of it, she thinks, is that Naruto does not need to forgive Sasuke. It was never a matter of forgiveness to him. But it is for Sakura, and when she makes a mental tally of all that has passed, she finds that she is not ready to forgive. Sometimes she wonders if she ever will be. So she is glad, truly, that Naruto and Sasuke do not share a tent.

The third day comes, and passes. She has not seen Sasuke at all since the end of the war, and Sakura has the slightest suspicion that this too might be because of Sai. He's standing near the edge of her table. Sakura puts down her pen. She stretches, feels the tightness of her back unwind. Sai watches, as always, with gentle eyes. He does not tell her to rest. He knows her better than that. But it has been three days and the question that he has not yet asked hangs over them. Sakura thinks, she is ready. And then," I love him." She pauses, flips through the report she has been writing, half turns on the stool so she can look at Sai over her shoulder. "I don't trust him."

Sai from five months ago, Sai from ROOT might have asked why. But Sai is no longer that person, and so, he inclines his head and leaves. He pauses at the entrance of the tent, hand gripping the side as if he was to say something - Are you sure? - perhaps. But he only smiles. "Goodnight Sakura, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes," she says, and her shoulders feel lighter, as if she has let go of some terrible burden. She did not have to tell Sai anything, but she did. _I am okay_. And she is. Sai understands, and for that, she is grateful.

_I am okay_, Sakura repeats to herself.

And she is. And she will be.


End file.
